The First Step to a Success Mindset (Even If Life Feels Like a Mess)
You might think your biggest challenge is tech, starting a blog, or figuring out affiliate marketing… But the real struggle? It’s what’s happening in your head. Yep, that’s right. How to change your mindset might be something you haven’t thought about before…
For me, the turning point wasn’t another strategy or some shiny business tools… it was the day I realized I had to fight for a better mindset. Not because I was weak… But because I’d spent years hearing lies that shaped what I believed about myself.
“You’re too late.” “You’re not smart enough to make this work.” “Why even try?”
Losing Our House
At the time, we were losing our house.
I had just lost my mom to cancer… barely holding it together through the grief.
And then, the “picture guy” from the mortgage company showed up… (to verify the house still existed and that we were still living in it)
We were already drowning in debt.
Then came the final blow: I was served court papers at my front door… creditors suing me.
I remember clutching that paper, standing in the same spot where my kids used to play, thinking:
“God, I don’t know how much more I can take.”
And maybe… that’s where you are too… stuck in the Survival Trap. That place where you’re so overwhelmed and burned out that every new strategy feels like a threat instead of an opportunity.
Overwhelmed.
Burned out.
Wondering if you’re the problem because all the strategies feel like too much…
But then something shifted.
I came across one of the most empowering quotes that really changed me:
“Be careful of your thoughts, for they become your words; be careful of your words, for they become your actions; be careful of your actions, for they become your habits; be careful of your habits, for they become your character; be careful of your character, for it becomes your destiny.” ~Lao Tzu
Even more powerful than that? I opened my Bible, and this verse jumped out:
“But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.” ~Matthew 15:18
And it hit me… if I wanted to change my life, I had to change what I believed.
When you’re in the Survival Trap, your brain is wired for scarcity. You choose the quickest, cheapest, and often most toxic options just to get through the day. But that cycle keeps you too tired to see the path to Abundance. To break the trap, we have to change the signal.
That’s where the success mindset starts.
Audit Your Internal “Signal”
Before we move to the tech and the strategy, we have to identify which “signal” your brain is currently sending. Most of us are stuck in Survival Mode, which makes every decision based on fear.
Which one sounds like you right now?
The Survival Signal (Fear)
The Abundance Signal (Values)
“I have to find the cheapest way, even if it takes me 10x longer and leaves me exhausted.”
“I am looking for the highest value so I can protect my time and my peace. My God is a God of order, not exhaustion.”
“I’m not ‘techy’ or ‘smart’ enough, so I’ll probably mess this up.”
“I don’t need to know everything. I have the mind of Christ, and He provides the Strategic Partners and tools I need to succeed.”
“I’m late to the game and there’s no room for me to make money.”
“I remember that God gives me the power to get wealth to establish His covenant (Deut 8:18). My seat at the table is reserved.”
Or do you have an entirely different ‘survival signal’ (based off fear), running through your head?
The Action: Pick one “Survival Signal” you’ve been sending this week. Write it down, cross it out, and replace it with the Abundance Signal. This isn’t just “positive thinking”…. it’s choosing your new destination.
Challenge the lies… What are you believing that God never said? Replace it with truth.
Also, Gratitude changes perspective. This is my favorite gratitude journal.
The “Two-Minute Anchor”
(You can take this action immediately.)
The Two-Minute Pattern Interrupt
When you’re in the “Survival Trap,” your body is literally in a state of stress. To change your mindset, you often have to change your physical state first.
Do this right now:
Drink a full glass of water. (Dehydration mimics anxiety… clear the fog first!)
Stand up straight.
Speak this “Abundance Declaration” out loud:
“I am not a victim of my circumstances; I am a steward of my mission. I don’t need to see the whole mountain to take the first step. I am moving from Scarcity to Abundance today.”
The truth is, these thoughts aren’t just annoying… they are creative. Proverbs 23:7 tells us that ‘as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.’ If your internal dialogue is destructive, your business results will be too. That’s why we have to move beyond just ‘thinking’ and start ‘speaking.’
Biblical Declarations
I don’t just ‘think’ happy thoughts. I use what I learned from Charles Capps in ‘Faith and Confession’… the life-changing truth that our words are like seeds.
Most people are ‘planting’ weeds in their life by saying things like ‘I’ll never afford this’ or ‘I’m so bad at tech.’ I decided to stop planting weeds and start planting the Word.
I say my Biblical Declarations every single day because I know that God gives us the power to get wealth (Deut 8:18), but that power starts with a mind that is renewed to believe it’s possible.
In his book, he explains that God’s Word is ‘spiritual law’ that works when we put it in our hearts and speak it out of our mouths.
I realized I was using my words to describe my ‘Survival’ circumstances instead of using my words to change them.
Now, I use these specific declarations to set the ‘Abundance Signal’ for my day.
Why does it work? Because repetition is one of the ways we learn.
Over and over and over again. 🔁
Why Repetition Matters
Think about how you learned your multiplication tables as a kid. If your school was anything like mine, you probably saw those flash cards over and over and over again. Or maybe you had a teacher who made you fill in the same blank map every week until you knew the states and capitals almost without thinking.
There was a reason repetition helped.
Our brains learn through practice. Research on learning and memory has found that repeatedly recalling information can strengthen our ability to remember it over time. That’s one reason something you’ve practiced again and again can eventually become much easier to recall. Check out this article on PubMed.
That’s the idea I come back to when I’m working on my mindset.
If I’ve spent years repeating thoughts like I’m not good enough,I’ll never figure this out, or nothing is ever going to change, I don’t expect one positive sentence on Tuesday morning to suddenly erase all of that.
So I practice something different.
I read words that remind me who I want to become. I write them down. I say them again. I return to Scripture. I notice an old thought and intentionally replace it with something truer and more helpful.
Not because repeating a sentence is magic.
Because practice matters.
Just like I once practiced multiplication tables until I could recall them without staring at a flash card, I’m giving my mind something different to practice now.
“Change what you believe ➝ it can change the way you think ➝ and the way you think can change the choices you make.”
And little by little, those choices can change the direction of your life.
And for me, this isn’t just about mindset. My faith is part of it too. The Bible has plenty to say about renewing our minds, guarding our thoughts, and being intentional about the words we speak.
You don’t need a perfect strategy to move forward. You need a better mindset and the courage to believe that God’s not done with your story.
Start speaking truth. Start believing you can. And let the rest unfold from there.
🌸 You were made for more than the Survival Trap. You were made to thrive, to build an Abundance Engine, and to live a life that feels like a sanctuary.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”~Romans 12:2
You are NOT too late. You are NOT disqualified. You are NOT the problem.
You just need a fresh start. And it begins right here…
Because once your mindset shifts? The rest becomes so much lighter.
My “Secret Weapon”
Stop Trying to Be the “Whole Team”
One of the biggest reasons we get “Mindset Freeze” is because we think we have to do the thinking of ten people. We think we have to be the Researcher, the Writer, the Tech Support, and the CEO all at once.
Here is a secret: I don’t do this alone. I use a specialized Research Assistant (a tool that’s explained more in Step 5 and Step 7) that handles the heavy lifting for me. You can find those steps on my Start Here page.
It clears the “brain fog” by doing the research and organization that used to keep me stuck. When you know you have a partner to handle the “how,” your mind is finally free to focus on the “why.”
Your Mindset Toolkit: If I Were Starting Over…
If I could go back to 2008 and give myself a shortcut to skip the years of “survival mode,” I would have started by reading and implementing these three books in this exact order. They are the “secret sauce” to the mindset you need for the rest of this roadmap:
Identity:The Greatest Miracle in the World by Og Mandino… You have to realize your worth and stop the toxic self-talk before you can build anything else.
Spiritual Law:Faith and Confession by Charles Capps… Once you know your value, you have to learn the spiritual law of your words and start speaking abundance into existence.
Consistency:The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson… This teaches you how to stay consistent with the small, daily disciplines that eventually lead to a massive breakthrough.
Final Thoughts
Changing your mindset doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine.
For me, it meant beginning to notice the thoughts I’d been repeating for years and intentionally practicing something different. It meant giving myself grace, returning to my faith, and taking one small step at a time.
You don’t have to change everything today.
If you’re rebuilding more than your mindset
Changing the way I thought was only the beginning for me. As I slowly worked my way out of survival mode, I also had to look at our finances, the way I worked, and what I wanted our life to become. If that’s part of your story too, I’ve put the practical steps I learned into my 7-step roadmap. Step 2 is below.
God didn’t give you your gifts and your story by accident. 💛
