How to Be The Person You Want To Be? (Even If You’re Not There Yet)

What Kind Of Person Do You Want To Be?

We all have a version of ourselves we wish we could be.
Calm. Confident. Capable of walking into a room without feeling like the awkward one in the corner.

But for many of us, that version feels far away… like someone else’s life.

I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression my whole life. Crowds made me nervous and completely drained me. Social situations made me want to disappear. Conversations felt like landmines.

And while being a better person was my goal… someone who could speak up, smile freely, and actually enjoy being around people… I never knew how to get there.

It’s frustrating when the you in your head… the one who’s happy, brave, and at peace… doesn’t match the you in real life.

You tell yourself, “One day I’ll change… one day I’ll be different,” but nothing actually shifts.

The truth? Change doesn’t happen just by wanting it.
If you don’t take small, intentional steps, you’ll stay stuck, wishing instead of becoming.

The Breaking Point

The start of high school was rough. In 9th grade, I got sick and was out for most of the year. I came back the following year still feeling like an outsider, awkward and out of sync.

I wasn’t the “popular” type, and I knew I’d never be the loudest person in the room. But I also didn’t want to keep hiding, avoiding, and shrinking back. I wanted to at least be functional… to walk through the halls without wishing I could disappear.

That’s when I accidentally stumbled onto something that would change my life.

My Secret: Act Like the Person You Want to Become

One day, I decided to pretend.

In my mind, I was an actress on a stage.

Every time I walked into school, I stepped into character as ‘the person I want to be’… someone calmer, more approachable, and willing to engage.

I imagined how she walked, talked, and carried herself.

And I acted like her, even when my stomach was doing nervous flips.

Was I suddenly the life of the party?

Nope. I was still quiet and shy… but I was present.

I could function.

I no longer felt the need to run and hide every moment.

By the end of the year, I was chosen for a role in the school’s year-end ceremony… something I never would have auditioned for as “real me.”

And it went well. Really well.

That’s when I realized: you don’t have to wait to become the person you want to be.

You can start living like them now.

I was becoming the person I saw in my mind.

Believe it or not, there’s a name for this… and I didn’t even realize it back then. It’s called identity shifting. Even though I felt anxious and out of place, playing that role on the high school stage helped me slowly step into the calmer, confident person buried beneath the fear.

Fast Forward to Today

Now, as an adult, I have far less trouble interacting with people. Sure, I’m still super awkward sometimes (let’s be honest… I own that now), but I can function in social settings. I can connect with others.

That little mental trick from high school… imagining and then acting like the person I wanted to be… has helped me in more ways than I can count.

It’s not about being fake. It’s about choosing behaviors that match the version of you you’re working toward. And over time, those behaviors become habits… and those habits shape the person you actually become.

How to Be the Person You Want to Be

1. Get clear on who you want to be.
   Do you want to be calmer? More confident? More compassionate? Write it down. Describe that version of you in detail. (Being a better person starts with knowing what that means for you.)
2. Act as if.
   This is the secret I learned in high school. Pretend you’re already that person. Wear their confidence. Make their choices. Walk into a room as if you belong there.
3. Make small choices every day.
   Big transformations start with tiny actions. Hold the door for someone. Speak up once in a meeting. Smile at a stranger. (Never stop being a good person along the way.)
4. Surround yourself with reminders.
   Use simple quotes that inspire you, journal prompts that stretch you, or even affirmations. (“Dear self, you’re stronger than you think” can go a long way.)
5. Be patient with yourself.
   You won’t change overnight. But every small step is proof you’re on your way to becoming the person you want to be.

Next Steps…

When I started showing up as the person I wanted to be, I finally had the courage to start my dream business. If you’ve been thinking about doing the same, the Pinterest Marketing Academy is a step-by-step guide to grow your business without the social media overwhelm. Check it out here.

And if you’re not quite ready to dive into the Academy yet, the Faith and Action Bundle is a beautiful place to start. It’s full of practical tools, Bible-based encouragement, and actionable steps to help you grow in faith, mindset, and purpose… while you work toward becoming the person you’re called to be. Take a look here.

Final Thoughts

Becoming a better person isn’t about becoming someone else entirely. It’s about stepping into the real you… the one God created you to be before fear, anxiety, and doubt got in the way.

You don’t need permission to start changing.
You don’t have to wait for the “perfect” moment or some big breakthrough.

You can start showing up… today… as the person you want to become. BE the person you want to become…

It might feel awkward at first (trust me, I know), but the more you practice, the more natural it will feel. If you want to be the person you’ve always dreamed of, start acting like them now.

One day you’ll look back and realize… you already are that person.

Until next time…